How Love can be so Unhealthy
by BreathingtoWrite
Summary: Bella is starting off college in Seattle where her dead father grew up, amidst the whirlwind of college life she met Edward and the story goes..please bear with me.cant produce a good enough summary to save my life..enjoy and comments..
1. Chapter 1

My dreams are so full of you, don't get me wrong, Im so happy that I have you in my life but guess too much is always bad. I never know when this ridiculous feelings for you started but its becoming so unhealthy each passing day.

**Moving out**

I carelessly throw my stuff inside my bags. Tears pricking out my blasted tear ducts, im trying to wake my self up to stay in my reality, that I have to do something for everyone to be happy, that I have to compromise. Anyway living alone couldn't really be that bad, I put this to myself.. I chose to be admitted somewhere far away so that my mom could finally stop shouldering my stones. Im happy, believe me, I truly am, but leaving the things that I grew up with….

"Bella…" I turn my back away from the door and quickly pressed my eyes to stop the tears when I saw my moms head bob out of my bedroom door. My loving, erratic, harebrained mother. "Are you okay? You know that you don't have to do this.." I felt her soft hands rest on my shoulders. I can hear doubt and care and self reproach in her small voice making me stick to my decision.

"No mom.. Im fine.. Just don't expect me not to cry.. I practically live here all my life.."

"Of course honey… I understand." I faced her lightly and my heart broke into pieces when I see her eyes full of tears, sobbing uncontrollably . I cant help but laugh at her. We had been always like this, like im the one more grown up between us both. I kiss her in the cheeks and hugged her. I cant say anymore of how I love her and her new husband Phil.. And I look up to the sky, I love my dad too, wherever he is..

I felt breathless as I wait for my plane to be called, as usual its bright and sunny in Arizona, the place I called home for my eighteen years of life. I don't know whats waiting for me in Seatte but it's the best that I could do, I know how much my mom wants to be with Phil and she cant do it with me just around her. Oh, and they are taking the road when im gone..looking for a baseball team where Phil might just be in. he is a minor leaguer. I quietly bid my goodbye when I heard my flight number, a few more hugs and kisses and reminders and im off.. To start with my life as a grown up Bella.


	2. Chapter 2

**A new beginning**

So I left home to attend college here in Seattle,Washington. I havent even decided on a major, I just wanted to get away so quickly that the first time I got the acceptance letter, I just grabbed the opportunity. I chose Washington because this is where my father grew up and where he live his childhood before moving in to Phoenix. I thought that it would be nice to know the place where my father grew up. The place is known for its lush green forest and occasional drizzles, totally different from sunny county Arizona. I arrived at the apartment where I am staying at exactly ten AM, a three storey red bricked apartment with wet mossy front. I pulled out from my thick cardigan the paper mom gave to me where the address is written. It says that I and my two other roommates own apartment 322. I made my way up looking at each door number as I pass, keeping my best to balance my self with the two oversized bags on my left and a clutch bag at my right. When I saw the numbers I am looking for emblazed in front of the dark oak door, I felt relief brush over me. I snuck my keys out and open the door.

"Oh.. Are you Isabella?" I know my mom told me that I have roommates but I didn't exactly expect them to be around when I arrived.

"Just Bella.." I reached for the hands the girl is giving and shook it slowly.

"Hi Bella, Im Jessica.. And shes Lauren.." she pointed to the girl who came out from the kitchen area with a cup of what smell like warm chocolate in her hands. The girl called Lauren smiled and reach out, I obliged and hold her hand.

"So Bella.. Welcome to you..would you like a cup of chocolate first or ill show you to your room?"

"I think ill drop off my stuff first.."

"Well then.. Follow me" Jessica started to lead the way, she showed me to her and Laurens room first and the common bathroom at the end of the hall then my room in front of it. She smiled before leaving and asked me to join them when im done, I thanked her and smiled before entering the room..

I dropped my things in top of the lovely single bed in the middle of the room and started surveying the place. Theres a two door closet on the left of the door, a wooden desk and its matching chair beside the bed and a dresser. The rooms green and well lit. two view windows with flowery green curtains. Fully satisfied with everything around me, I went out to hang out with my two roommates.

"So Bella, have you decided about the major your going to get?" I sat with the two on the breakfast table. Lauren asked after she got me a cup of chocolate.

"Not yet.. How about you both?"

"Well im a Economics major while Jessica here is the undecided.."

"Well Lauren.. You see here Bella is also undecided too.." Jessica snorted at Lauren. "You got any clue Bella?"

"Im not really sure, maybe ill hang around my choices for awhile.. Anyway we can decide until third year right?"

"Yah of course Bella.."Lauren sipped her cup looking a little dissapointed with my answer while Jessica seemed to be the intelligent type,while Jessicas the com-what- may type.

"So.. How you liking the place Bella?and your room?"

"I like the whole lot.. Thank you.."

"We would have to talk about some arrangements but I think that you wouldn't really have a problem with everything.."I just smiled at Lauren and helped myself with my cup and some bread while Jessica made faces at her back.


	3. Chapter 3

**Having some Friends**

I promised my self to buy a car when Id settled, I towed my self out of the wet cold lawn almost a half mile walk from the gate and into the administrative building of the University. I really hate the wet and damp weather especially the cold, I woke up this morning shivering and irritated because my blankets couldn't be enough to beat the cold and the wind keeps on making disturbing noises . I drawn a deep breath as I walked to my first class for the day, I looked at my class schedule.. Uhm.. Biology, one of my least favorite subject. I entered the classroom almost five minutes late. I quickly put myself to seat at the back of the class where I am less conspicuous because I don't want to be whole class dragged on like it barely happen, so as the next class. I was thinking about lunch when I received a text from Jessica inviting me to eat with her and some friends. I was actually happy when I met them at the canteen.

"How you liking the rain girl?" the guy with the orange hair asked me playfully as he shake his cap around my head,sending small sparkles of water.I just smiled at him and the others, they seem to be an easy crowd, they are all and Lauren is sitting just beside me.

"Yah Bella,how was it?the drizzles too damp.." Jessica looked at me then the oranged haired guy called Mike. Pretty obviously that Jess have the hots for him.

"uhmm.. I hate it.." I answered meekly.

"Yah, likes the weathers shitting everything.. You girls need a ride home?" I look at Laurens boyfriend Ben.

"I still have classes.."

"We can wait Bella, anyway Mike and Jess here have classes too..we probably go to the library "

"That's nice Lauren" Jessica glanced at her watched and I did the same,its nearly time. "We probably should get going.. Bye Bella,Lauren,Ben" she tugged Mike away.

"I should do the same, See you later Lauren,Ben"

My next class would be Trigonometry,my favorite subject because it keeps me thinking.I entered the room just on time that the professor is writing something on the board. I sit down on the front row so that I could really listen to the discussion. I pulled my notes out of my book bag and settled them at the desk.

"Hi there…"startled I look from where the voice came from, a pixie haired girl smiled at me,I returned her smile and also to the guy beside her. "Alice…"she held out her hand and I reached for it "Jasper .."

"Bella"

"elo Bella" Jasper greeted in a cool voice.

"Your new here ay?" Alice sat just beside me while Jasper took the next seat.

"Yah"

"Nice.. Im sure were going to be really great friends…"


	4. Chapter 4

**The Encounter with an Angel**

Class dragged on comfortably with Alice and Jasper to smile and talk with. They've been really friendly and accommodating all throughout. I learned that they are actually a couple and both majoring in Psychology and Jaspers a frat boy who throws the biggest and loudest party in campus. They invited me for tonight but I chose to decline, I plan on cleaning up my my room and buying some stuffs I would need for school. I said goodbye when I received a text message from Lauren.

I was awed when I entered the vast library of the University, I look around to see if Lauren and Ben is around but I couldn't see them,I started to walk shelf to shelf. I cant help but stop by some shelves checking out some books that caught my interest. I was slowly keeping my pace alternately looking at the tables and the shelves when I bumped into someone. I lost my balance and dropped my book bag creating a crash. I felt some books hitting my feet.

"Sorry Miss.." I heard a cool and quiet musical voice said infront of me. I slowly looked at the hands streched to help me stand,it's the most beatiful hands ive seen, I hesitantly reach for it for support.I slowly looked up to the owner of the angelic voice and my jaw dropped when I saw the man standing infront of me, would anyone believe me if I said that I saw an angel in the library? cause I believe that I am seeing one right now."Uhrmm.." I was pushed out of my bubble when I heard him chuckled, his emerald eyes looking at me amusely.I felt my cheeks hot.

"No.. Im sorry.."I quickly baffled and pick up the books I dropped. The man helped sort it.

"Im Edward.." standing up too quickly I almost slam myself at him,he look puzzled at my clumsiness. He gave me my books.

"Bella" I almost jumped when I heard Laurens shrieking voice from across the room. I know my face is all red due to my scattered head attempt to look cool and the noise Lauren just created inside the Library. I can see the librarian about to throw us out. I quickly went to Lauren and Ben's table and tugged them out.

"What was that about?" I sit down inside Bens SUV comfortably with Jessica and Mike beside me. Too grateful to get out of the damp drizzles. I saw Jessicas questioning look, we bumped into them as I was storming out of the library with the two in tow. Lauren faced us like shes going to faint.

"She just bumped Edward Cullen" Lauren said on a panicky voice.

"What?!Oh my God.." Jessica smiled.

"That's an accident Lauren, you shouldn't have shout"

"But… I just plain panic, if you must know---"Lauren just fell out of breath and transferred her eyes on Jess

"---Bella, oh my, first day and you've already made contact with the most gorgeous man on campus. Bad thing they are all left alone to themselves" Jessica finished the sentence slighly giggling.

"I think you two are freaking out big time.."I commented,looking at the two boys who look dead serious.

"Anyway..sorry Bella" Lauren sheepishly bowed.

"That's just cool Lauren.."


	5. Chapter 5

**School and Work and Friends and….Feelings 1**

I step in my boots and coat while making my way into our kitchen, I passed Lauren busy scribbling on her notebook infront of the telly. I made myself a bowl of cereals and quickly shoved it inside my mouth. I would be late if I wont hurry up, I throw my bowl into the sink and half run into the road. I hailed the first cab and set off to school. Two months had already passed since I first came here,school had been a real drag so as my part time job as a clerk on one of Newton's convenience store. Im barely making ends meet and the scholarship wont sustain everything so I would have to work for extra money. Mom had been kind enough to bail me out some times but I couldn't take more than what she had given cause I know that they are also barely surviving.

"Were here.." I paid the taxi fair and run into the building, its late November and the cold is just getting worst, snow thickening as Christmas is fast approaching. The colds numbing my every bits.

"Hey Bella.." I smiled when I heard Mikes voice. Hes also on layered clothes now,looking bulky with the bag in his shoulder.

"Hi there Mikey.."

"You have classes?" he mirrored my pace down the hall.

"No..just going to pass a term paper..You?"

"Same here.. Mom told me to ask you if you would like to work after, moms clerk for today catch severe cold.."

"Sure Mike..ill just go there after this.."

"You want a ride?"he seem a little edgy as he spoke,like some shy boy next door,I couldn't suppress a smile.

"No..No Mike..Im fine taking a cab.."

"No big deal, im going there anyway.. Ill just renew some for me here" HE waved me off and ran to the direction of the library. I continued my walk into the professors lounge to pass my papers. Term papers really took up most of my time, ive decided to declare a Political Science major. I was about to enter when I saw Edward Cullen talking to a professor,like they are on some heated discussion. Its been awhile since I saw him around school. I heard that he is Alice's brother but I don't have the guts to ask her anything about him. I pushed the glass doors slowly but it hit the chime above it that it still created some ridiculous chiming sound. I groaned when I saw his gaze fall on me, the same amuse expression in his eyes. I walked into 's table and dropped my paper in the pile. I walked out of the lounge not looking anywhere but the door. I released my breath not even aware that I am holding it..

"Hi.." I look around to see Edward Cullen standing infront of me,his hands on his pockets and looking as handsome as ever

"…Hi"

"So..your Issabella?Alice had told me so much about you."he held up my hand and shook it. I just stared at him unable to come up with anything to say. "Wanna grab some coffee or something?"

"Bella.." I got totally distracted when I heard Mikes voice behind me, I just stared as he stand still some two feet away and decided to face Edward again..

"Nice to meet you Edward, Im Bella.. Im sorry I cant..Thanks anyway.." I gave him a soft smile and walked to Mikes direction,pulling him away because he wont budge.


	6. Chapter 6

**School and Work and Friends and….Feelings 2**

I quietly endured the rest of the ride to the convenience store, Mike had been a total piss on the way here, warning me to keep my distance of Edward and also the rest of the Cullen, hes babbling about how he looks at me like im something to eat. Im equally pissed when he told me Edwards reputation as a heartless player,like im some kind of naïve girl who needs reprimanding. I cant explain my relief when we arrived at the store, I kept my distance from Mike the whole day, keeping my self busy with the cash register or stocking around the shop. I can see from the corner of my eyes that he keeps on throwing edgy glances on me, Mrs Newton also did the same to us both but decided to keep her mouth shut. Shes been really kind to me,letting me advance some of my salary when I needed too.

"Uhmm… Bella.." Mrs. Newton approached me while im stacking some gums on the counter. I looked at her and she look really agitated.

"Yes maam?"

"I think that's enough for the day, you can go now Bella, come back tomorrow.." I looked at my watch, around five PM.

"Ok then" I got out of my apron and bid my goodbye to them both, I was walking on the pavement when I heard Mike calling my name. "Why Mike?" I asked him.

"ill take you home.."

"No..i can manage.." I continued walking, I havent forget what he said on the way.

"Please Bella.." his voice hesitant as he keep on walking beside me. I drew a deep breath, Mike is a very good friend and I could sense that he have some feelings for me ,I don't think that it would be a good idea, with Jess filling me every night with her feelings for the guy.

"I don't think that would be a good idea Mike"I stopped and looked at him,the cool wind sending shiver down my spine,I hugged my self.

"Why not Bella?..Uhm.. While were at it,I just wanna invite you… uhm on a..well the Christmas breaks not too far--"

"look Mike..Im cool with us being friends, I think that Jess and you would fit in better" I butt in, I know what hes trying to insinuate with the whole holiday thing.

"But--"

"I need to go now Mike, I have loads of papers to finish." I hailed the first cab that I saw and wave him goodbye, almost feeling guilty when I saw the look in his face.

I sneak into the apartment around seven, I can hear Jess and Lauren talking infront of the telly, I decided to join them for a couple of minutes to dish out some stress before going back to my studies.

"Oh hi there Bella.." Lauren look buffled when she saw me enter the living room while Jess look away frowning and stared at the television

"Hi Lauren,Hi Jess" I droped my self on the single sofa,looking intently at the two.

"Hows work?" Lauren asked looking uncomfortable, I could already guess whats the geez is about..

"Fine Lauren… hey Jess.."

"We just heard Mike is asking you for christmas dinner with his family." Jess finally said,still frowning.

"Well..he havent.. Look here Jess--"

"Whatever Bella, im out of it." I could hear hatred in Jess voice as she hid her self in the book shes reading.

"Im no competition Jess." I cant help but be angry on how unreasonable she could get, they just stayed silent for a minute,both looking intently at there books. "Ok… I told him no. I don't feel the same Jess." both raised their eyes on me, looking guilty. "you don't have to worry about me stealing your boy friend Jess, Im better than that.." I pulled my book bag in my shoulders and made my way to my room. I hear apologies before I finally shut the door close.


	7. Chapter 7

**The Show**

The kitchens silent when I went out to get some water, ive been really mad that I decided to stay in my room and not to talk to them even if they keep on knocking at my door. I grabbed my coat and mittens, maybe some fresh morning air would help clear up my clouded mind. I can feel the cold December air pressing my cheeks as I walk the semi lit pavement down the harbor. I step into the railing and sat on it,watching the ferries pass by.. I don't mean to hurt Jess feelings or anything, they don't know how much it hurts for someone who have no one to be left alone by the one she call her friends. They are my friends, I wipe away the cold tears falling down my cheeks. I could barely feel my hands from the cold but I still don't want to go home, I want to watch the calm water..

"Hi there Bella" my hold on the railing tightened when I hear the quiet musical voice behind me,the man who owned it not leaving my mind from the first time I saw him. "what are you doing here this early in the mornin?" he sat beside me on the railing,sending sweet shiver down my spine when his arms brush mine.

"I think I have to ask you the same.."

"I go here when I want to think.. You havent answered my question.."

"well.. I just decided to walk and my feet brought me here."

"Lucky me then.. To see you here.."I didn't find the words to answer his question for I think that I am the lucky one to get the chance to talk to him. Here at the serene harbor where things are like a dream. "So Bella, want to grab a cup of hot coffee?" I tilted my head to look at him,he is also doing the same. Looking at me intently, I bowed my head concentrating on my mittens."well?"

"that would be a good idea.." I half smiled when I saw his eyes twinkle,his boyish charm unable to be equal with everything ive seen.

"Come on then Miss Bella.."he held out his hand to help me stand up, and I willingly obliged, feeling his soft hands touch mine.


	8. Chapter 8

**Stuck in the Middle**

"Here's your cappuccino Miss..extra foam and nutmeg" I smiled at him when he put down the coffee in front of me and proceeded to his chair. The shops warm and comforting, I leaned down my chair while taking a sip,the warm liquid loosening my cold nerves. I saw him smile from where he is sitting, looking amused. "Nice that I bumped with you in the harbor, I finally got the chance to talk to you.."

"Uhm.."unable to say anything. I stared out the white starting to crowd the chillin street.

"Its too bad about the snow isnt it?"he asked, watching me as I watch the snow flakes falling on the ground.

"Not really.."

"how are you liking the snow?"

"Not good.."I turned my head to him ,hes expression making me elaborate "I hate the cold,the wet, and the damp thing.. "

"I think moving here had been a bad idea then?"

"--I have to do it.."

"Why?"

"Well mom and his new husband need to ..have some time alone.. And I think its just time to start living my life.."

"And you are not happy.."its more of a statement than a question, I look up at him to see his eyes with doubt.

"Im coping really…" I could see the sun starting to come out of the horizon "I think I better go, nice meeting you Edward and thanks for the coffee.."

"I can walk you home.."

"ill just ride a cab home.."before he could say another word I walk out of the coffee shop and got in a flies when your having fun.. I chuckled when I remember his smirk.

I can hear voices inside in the kitchen as I walk in inside the house. Lauren and Jessica seems to be talking about me.

"Do you think I should talk to her now?"

"Yah Jess,better to ask for forgiveness now than wait for this to get awkward" I hate to eavesdrop so I step in for them to know that I am here, Jess was sitting on the breakfast table while Laurens facing her with hands on the counter. I tried to give the two a reassuring smile and they both went to me for a hug. "We are so sorry Bella.."

"Yah.. I-- we--I didn't mean to blame this all in you, I guess jealousy just took over me"

"That's fine now Jess.. Lauren"


	9. Chapter 9

**Holiday Rush**

Christmas is fast approaching. I can practically feel it swooping its way around Seattle streets, my annoyance for this type of weather just keeps getting the better of me, Im missing Arizona and the heat.. Too bad I cant go home coz mom and Phils somewhere else. Im spending christmas alone and im thinking of getting ahead with my studies. We still have two weeks before winter break, and there is still so much to do and plan. I seat down on a corner table inside the library together with the books I need, im going to write a paper about Marxism and Communism.. I was halfway through the paper when I felt someone sat beside me, surprised wouldn't be enough of a word when I saw Edward staring at me.

"Hi there" I croaked.

"Hi Bella, you doin the house requirements?"

"Yah.." I looked around to see if the librarian had finally caught us chirping, and well she doesn't "How bout you?"

"Just looking around.. So where you goin for Christmas?"

"Well stayin home,the weathers pretty cold now.."

"You celebratin somewhere?"

"Not really.."

"Then I can invite you for a christmas party at our house.."

"Uhm.. That's cool isnt it?"

"yah.. Cool.. Then im expectin you.. Lets say ill pick you up on christmas eve.."

"No.. Ill just take a cab to your place"

"Nonsense."I was about to say somethin when I heard the raspy librarian shush, I wasn't aware that my voice hyped up. Edward waved and left me inside the library.

I walked outside the fastfood chain with a Big Mac in hand,Im out doing some Christmas shopping for about a couple of hours now and I havent made any single purchase. Well I need a gift for mom and Phil and Lauren and Jess, maybe ill buy one for Mike and Tyler too..and Alice. I was mentally listing each gift in my head when I saw someone approaching , It was Edward and his signature smirk all over his face..

"Hi Bella.."

"Hi to you too.. What are you doing here?"

"Probably doing what your doing.."I notice he have a big designer bag in his hand, Ive known from Jess that the Cullens are really rich, they can afford almost anything.

"Nice..so you doin good then?" he motioned me to a nearby café to seat, I willingly obliged, sometime with him wouldn't really hurt my schedule.

"You want some coffee?"

"Sure do.."I started to pull out some cash off my wallet when he suddenly disappeared in front of me. I observed how he stand infront of the coffee bar, Edward really stand out with his pale white skin and statuesque built. I was really taken by him (I think most of the female populace does), I mentally noted buying something for Edward too.. Maybe a nice tie or a leather jacket if my budget could permit a decent one.. I saw him sit down beside me with the cup of coffees and a plate of cake. He pushed the cup and plate infront of me. "Thanks.. Here" I tried to give him three dollars for the food but he refused it.

"You doin early shopping ey?" lounging in my seat I started to sip coffee, The settee really comfy and the heat joyful. Its been snowing worst and worst everyday.

"Yah.. Ive to concentrate the remaining days so I decided to get ahead of it… how bout you?"

"Just buying some stuff.. Good we bump into each other.. I was thinking about you the whole week.." I felt my blood rush…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Well that's probably that for this chapter, updates and updates.. the stories practically going no where.. suggestions and tips please…sorry I didn't any notes from my past post.. im just starting to get the whole hang of it… thanks for the hits..review if possible, greatly appreciated..

Disclaimer: I own nothing but I wish I do..


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Just hi to those who are passing by, thanks for reading and specially those who put this to their favorite list. Im just an amateur, I guess you could say by how I write. I want to really update as much as possible but guess what? Ideas just suddenly stop coming and I'm blank. Anyway please review and suggest.

**Breaking and Mending**

The days and the weeks had gone by so fast, I stand infront of my mirror staring at my fragile reflection, man.. Do I look worst, my face so pale and ghostly white. Im getting ready for the Christmas party on the Cullen's place. Im excited to see Edward again much as I deny it, I almost jumped when I heard the soft knocks on my bedroom door.

"Hey Bella, Cullen's at the door "says Jessica's raspy voice. I quickly got in my sweater and ran to the door, thanking Angela when I passed her through the hall.

"Hi.." Edward's waiting by the door, hand's on his pocket, my smile widen when he smiled, feeling my heart jumping out of my chest. Dear Bella's going to have a heart attack at 19.

"Ready?" he reached out his hands to my direction and my heart made a somersault. I nodded and held his cold hands. The nights just about to start.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Lovely evening Bella" Alice greeted us infront of the door with Jasper beside her, both welcoming guest coming in. The house is an enormous Greek mansion with manicured lawn, never in my entire life had I seen something like this on my pathetic life. "Please come on in you two… The parties started already" she pushed us into the great foyer filled with dancing people and aromatic foods. There is a large tastefully decorated Christmas tree in the middle of the dancing crowd."What do you say Bella?"

"Well.. wow.. oh I almost forgot, gifts.." I hand her my gift for Jasper and her.

"Thanks Bella.. we also got one for you.. Ill give it to you later.. oops..gotta run.." she ran away after kissing my cheek.

"I also have one too.. wanna see it?" I almost forgot about Edward standing beside me. I nodded agreement and he escorted me up the winding stairs to a small music room. There is a large grand piano in the middle and loads of CD's. "Just wait here.." He went just as I am starting to say yes, I slowly walked into the piano when he's gone..running my fingers on the ivory pieces.I haven't learned to play when I was a child but I very much appreciate one when I hear one. "So do you play?" Edward's just suddenly beside me looking intently.

"No.." I rummage my bag for my gift for him and hand it out "A little something for you.." I saw his eyes twinkled as he smiled at me.

"Thank you.. and here's one for you too" he gave me a small box covered with glittery pink paper with cute ribbon on top. His face urging me to open it..

"Thanks Edward.." I slowly unwrapped the gift and was amazed when I saw what the box held, a beautifully crafted necklace. "It's really beautiful Edward.." he took the necklace from my hands and started clasping it around my neck..

"It's a family heirloom.."

"B-But why would you want to give it to me?" I felt him grow still behind me, and then his hands went around me,pulling me tightly into his warm body "Edward?"

"It's for you?.. It's definitely for you"

"It is?" I asked stupidly, why would a beautiful necklace be for pathetic me?

"Yes.. Your special, way too special for me.."

"Really?" his arms hold on to me tighter and my mind started speeding out of my head. Why?why?why?

"Hey Edward!Bella!" I quickly stepped out of Edward's hug when we heard Alice's voice. She was smiling broadly as she approach us. "Come now.." she tugged me away from Edward into the noisy hall down stairs "I see he had given you that.."

"Yah.. well—" I traced the necklace now hanging on my neck.

"Don't worry bout that Bella.. Im going to introduce you to our big sister Rosalie.." We pressed on the throng of people to an empty room below.. There sat on the bar a picturesque woman sipping alcohol. "Hey Rose.. This is Bella, Edward's girlfriend.." I was about to correct her when Rosalie's probing eyes scanned me from head to toe meticulously. I felt really uncomfortable.

"Hi Bella.." Rosalie's voice is musical, well.. guess it runs on their family, even Edward and Alice have that stunning musical voice.

"Hi too Rosalie.. Nice to meet you.." Rosalie's perfect brows darted up, Had she done something wrong? Said something wrong?

"Lovely…" she said after long minutes of silence and suddenly turned his brooding eyes to Alice. "You should let her eat Alice, where's your manners?"

"Oh.. sorry there Bella..I'll take her up.." Alice started to ram me outside but I managed to thank Rosalie before the door shut close. "Well.. Im really sorry Bella, I think you really need to eat.." we moved to the kitchen where Edward's waiting for us.

"Where had you been?" he asked irritably at Alice who started to fill a plate with food. "I'll do that" he snatched the plate from her.

"Seat down now Bella.." she pressed me to the chair and sat beside me. "Rosalie's at the game room, she said we need to feed Bella" Edward's eyes fall on me apologetically.

"She shouldn't have said that, Bella looks fine" he pointed out on Alice.

"I know.. Besides that's really rude.. Sorry Bella.. you look really lovely tonight." Alice smiled while Edward set down the plate filled with food infront of me. I thanked him and started shoving food into my mouth. I can't chew properly when both of them are watching.

"Why don't you go to Jasper now Alice? He's looking for you" Alice waved and ran out off the kitchen. "Well? Sorry for that.."

"It's okay Edward..Uhm can I ask something?" His emerald eyes looked at me intently before finally nodding..

S/N: I haven't been to America personally so my idea of the place is really fictional, but I would love to see snow!


	11. Chapter 11

**Frustrating Thoughts**

Meeting Rosalie hadn't exactly been my worst nightmare that night. I sat there staring at Edward, his nod calculating, his eyes glistening with doubt." I just heard so many things this past months and I cant help but wonder.." My question isn't really a big deal.. I was just to ask "So where's your parents?" his eyes suddenly aloof.."Well you don't really have to answer.." I quickly countered just not to show I wanted badly to hear the story. It's no secret that Edward is the Black sheep of their family. Loads of people also have loads to say but I wanted to hear it from him.

"Yah..and I don't really want to answer." try as I might, I felt really disappointed. I know its too early to demand something cause even "what we are" isn't really clear. I just assumed that when he told me he was thinking about me the whole week there is already something.I tried to hold back tears. "Are you done there?I think you better enjoy the party, I'll just attend into something. With just that he left me sitting alone in the exactly had I done?

I just wandered around the house, seeing and greeting acquaintances every now and then, the house now too crowded even breathing is so hard, fumes and smogs are everywhere. I tried to make my way up the stairs into the music room where Edward brought me earlier that night. I haven't seen him since he left me. I traced the necklace he gave and asked myself why he gave it and then suddenly left.

"Hey Bella. Didn't know you're here." I just looked at Ben as he approaches; I almost forgot that he is Jasper's brodmate.

"Hi there too.. Lauren hadn't told me you're here too.."

"Oh, she didn't know.. can you keep it a secret?" he escorted me inside the empty music room.

"Oh-oh.."

"Well that's fine..your friends" I couldn't see myself lying to Lauren but as long as she won't ask me, I think the secrets safe with me." so whose your with?"

"Alice invited me.. She is my classmate in Trigonometry" Didn't know why I lied too. Maybe it's the shame of Edward leaving me in the middle of the party.

"Really.. Thought you and Edward's going out.. Could have been a blast."

"What do you mean?"

"Well for instance you're the first girl he'd gone out with for almost three months now." Ben looked at the CD's on the rack, examining them one by one, he looks so engrossed by it while talking, I didn't know he's aware of how long Edward and I had been seeing. "Don't believe the rumors about him really..i mean Jess and Lauren are girls, you know.. Girls tend to believe too much. .Seriously.. I know Edward have some issues but..Everyone have issues right? It isn't true his parents doesn't care for him anymore...he just chose to stay out of their way really..I mean-- I and Edward isn't that close but at least Jasper tell us the truth, You know this Angela?His childhood friend?Well his dad's a doctor and----"Ben suddenly stop talking and stared at me like he is looking at me for the first time.

"You're saying? What Ben?" I asked too quickly, too eager to hear what he is saying.

"Nothin Bella.. gotta run, see you around.."

"Hi there Bella..Edward told me to take you home, he is busy right now.." Alice's' broad smile didn't wipe away the hurt I feel as I walked with her to the car. The words she told me when she saw me on the music room just kept repeating on my mind. Even as I sat on my bed cuddled on my sheets, the tears of frustration just kept on slipping down my wasted cheeks.

A/N: thanks for the reviews. Well another short chapter, that's about it mate. Whats for the next chapter?hmm… well comments and reviews. I think its going to be some rehash of the fan fics ive read from the past.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: this would be my first Fan Fiction. Please bear with me. Im just thinking about this as I write so I couldn't produce a good enough summary to save my life and my story. Open for comments and suggestions, either good or bad. Looking for Beta's too. Hmm..so guys, its actually close to some fan fictions ive read from the past(thanks to them). All Bella's POV cause I couldn't put myself on a boys one anyway Im willing to expand the horizon for a bigger story!Please do enjoy. xoxo

**Frustrating Thoughts**

Meeting Rosalie hadn't exactly been my worst nightmare that night. I sat there staring at Edward, his nod calculating, his eyes glistening with doubt." I just heard so many things this past months and I cant help but wonder.." My question isn't really a big deal.. I was just to ask "So where's your parents?" his eyes suddenly aloof.."Well you don't really have to answer.." I quickly countered just not to show I wanted badly to hear the story. It's no secret that Edward is the Black sheep of their family. Loads of people also have loads to say but I wanted to hear it from him.

"Yah..and I don't really want to answer." try as I might, I felt really disappointed. I know its too early to demand something cause even "what we are" isn't really clear. I just assumed that when he told me he was thinking about me the whole week there is already something.I tried to hold back tears. "Are you done there?I think you better enjoy the party, I'll just attend into something. With just that he left me sitting alone in the exactly had I done?

I just wandered around the house, seeing and greeting acquaintances every now and then, the house now too crowded even breathing is so hard, fumes and smogs are everywhere. I tried to make my way up the stairs into the music room where Edward brought me earlier that night. I haven't seen him since he left me. I traced the necklace he gave and asked myself why he gave it and then suddenly left.

"Hey Bella. Didn't know you're here." I just looked at Ben as he approaches; I almost forgot that he is Jasper's brodmate.

"Hi there too.. Lauren hadn't told me you're here too.."

"Oh, she didn't know.. can you keep it a secret?" he escorted me inside the empty music room.

"Oh-oh.."

"Well that's fine..your friends" I couldn't see myself lying to Lauren but as long as she won't ask me, I think the secrets safe with me." so whose your with?"

"Alice invited me.. She is my classmate in Trigonometry" Didn't know why I lied too. Maybe it's the shame of Edward leaving me in the middle of the party.

"Really.. Thought you and Edward's going out.. Could have been a blast."

"What do you mean?"

"Well for instance you're the first girl he'd gone out with for almost three months now." Ben looked at the CD's on the rack, examining them one by one, he looks so engrossed by it while talking, I didn't know he's aware of how long Edward and I had been seeing. "Don't believe the rumors about him really..i mean Jess and Lauren are girls, you know.. Girls tend to believe too much. .Seriously.. I know Edward have some issues but..Everyone have issues right? It isn't true his parents doesn't care for him anymore...he just chose to stay out of their way really..I mean-- I and Edward isn't that close but at least Jasper tell us the truth, You know this Angela?His childhood friend?Well his dad's a doctor and----"Ben suddenly stop talking and stared at me like he is looking at me for the first time.

"You're saying? What Ben?" I asked too quickly, too eager to hear what he is saying.

"Nothin Bella.. gotta run, see you around.."

"Hi there Bella..Edward told me to take you home, he is busy right now.." Alice's' broad smile didn't wipe away the hurt I feel as I walked with her to the car. The words she told me when she saw me on the music room just kept repeating on my mind. Even as I sat on my bed cuddled on my sheets, the tears of frustration just kept on slipping down my wasted cheeks.

A/N: thanks for the reviews. Well another short chapter, that's about it mate. Whats for the next chapter?hmm… well comments and reviews. I think its going to be some rehash of the fan fics ive read from the past.I forgot to upload this when I uploaded the 12th chapter..didididums..


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I just suddenly wanted to try different POV's, well---

**Cold as Ice**

**Bella's POV**

It doesn't make sense why one should be crying on a Christmas day, for once I had a lot of gifts and I don't have classes to attend to. Shivering, I slid inside my warm covers, I can see snow building up outside my bedroom window, frosty and white, cold and numbing, like tears, like Edward.

**Edward's POV**

"He just left the Bella, what a git."

I heard Alice's small voice from somewhere; I hate it when they talk like that behind my back as if I'm not there. I feel really bad on ditching off Bella but I hate it when someone tries to hover in my life story (everyone does). I was filling up my bowl with milk when Rosalie came in the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine.

"I know you heard what Alice said Edward" she leaned on the counter. Twisting her carefully twisted locks. "Whatever it is Edward. You know what you did is rude"

"Yah. I saw her waiting for you on the music room." Alice entered the kitchen and stood infront of him, displeasement written all over her face.

"You've been rude too big sister so don't try to lecture me about it" almost knocking over the bowl on the table when I sit down sending splashes of milk flying away

"The point here Edward is that you bought her here as I date." Rosalie's calm voice seems to vibrate allover the corners of the room, she isn't this calm in the morning.

"Yah and you should also be the one to bring her home."Feministic woes isn't his thing so he just bowed down his soaked cereals and started shoving them into his mouth, an excuse for him not to talk "Whatever Bella did to you to treat her like that?"

"Not your problem anymore Al."

"She's really disappointed; you can see it in her eyes"she interjected pounding her small fist on the table.

"She's free to feel whatever she want to"

"Ok. Break off . you have classes." Rosalie picked Alice off the seat and headed out the door leaving him in insufferable silence and guilt.

**Bella's POV**

Shouldn't haven said too much, I feel like it's all my dreadful existence fault that he got suddenly cold with me, we seldom run into each other on random places around school but he won't talk to me even if I try to do the first move, like he is running away every time. I dropped my bag on the one of the wooden table scattered around the school ground and tried my best to do some work but my head just won't stop repeating the Christmas party wondering where it had gone all wrong, It's just suddenly too far off her memory..

"Hi Bella" Jessica slap my back when she approached me, throwing away her stuff around the already packed table. "Alice Cullen's looking for you, I think she goes the other way.."

"Does she told you why?"

"No.. she's just passing and bump on me, then she asked you.." I just nodded silently and bowed my head to the book I'm reading, Alice had been so good to her even if Edward had stopped seeing her.

"You wanna come downtown and have some drinks later?" I eyed Jess apprehensively as she describe downtown animatedly. She hadn't had the time to bond with her crowd this past holidays so it would be a start to come with them, her workload can wait.

"Shoot.."

A/N:What happens downtown?We haven't got electricity for whopping 8 hours now..


End file.
